Wednesday, 24 February 2016

Weight Loss and Romance

We here at Writewood Creations have been trying to lose ten pounds (each) for literally years and we've discovered a certain level of starvation is required to pull this off for inactive women in their fifties. We don't care what the diet gurus say--our research shows we lose weight when we are hungry. As in starving. So hungry that a lunch of vegetable soup tastes out of this world. (For instance, I'm really hungry now and I can't wait for my poached egg on whole grain toast. Can. Not. Wait.)

There's no other way. We don't like to exercise, especially in the winter. A collective shudder goes through the office when someone suggests a walk at noon. ("In this? Are you well?") So that's out. Hunger is the only way to whittle those pounds down. Our motto is: "If you are not hungry, you're doing it wrong."

But we've noticed an overall increase in our testiness since we started this thing. Publishing is a cranky business at the best of times. Lots of snark and general irritating nit-picky stuff to deal with. We used to console ourselves with vats of red wine and chocolate Easter bunnies. Cabbage soup doesn't have the same soothing effect as a good-old bag of Hershey's Kisses. And the worst thing is, this semi-starved state will have to be permanent. The new world order. We just can't eat like we did in our twenties.

Does reading romance novels help us stay the course? Here are our completely unscientific results from the past month. We discovered:

1) Reading warm-to-hot love stories cheered us up and helped us unwind at the end of the day.
2) Romance novels are calorie-free. You burn calories reading a book!
3) Reading an engrossing romance distracted us from being hungry and kept us out of the fridge.
4) Romantic love stories made us more amorous with our husbands. Everyone knows sex burns calories.
5) We believe reading romance stimulates the pleasure centers of the brain and reduced our cravings.

Total weight lost: 7 pounds.

Craving a doughnut? Pick up a romance instead! The craving will pass and you'll be an hour or two closer to bedtime and another day done without blowing your diet. We've got this!

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